Agency, noun; action or intervention, especially such as to produce a particular effect.
I’m a big believer that kids should be given as much agency as possible, given their age and ability. There is a movement called Free Range Kids fighting back against the continual coddling and oversight of kids. We should be very supportive of this. In this post I’ll describe some of what I think should be allowed.
Bikes
Being a kid is hard, you are continually being told what you can and cannot do, you can’t transport yourself anywhere, and you live in an adult world. The first taste of freedom you are likely to get is on a bike. You suddenly go from a walking or running speed, to a much faster biking speed. Your parents can no longer feasibly keep up with you, and you have the ability to explore your world.
When I was a kid my bike was how I got around. Living in rural Vermont, the only way to get anywhere was on a bike (or a car if you’re old enough). Getting to friends was nearly impossible on foot. My bike let me get to my friends, the local park, my school, and the town’s convenience store. We’ll discuss more about letting kids run around alone later.
Now that I have kids, I want them to learn how to ride. Not only is it good exercise, and a lot of fun, but it will also serve as their first vehicle to get around town and see their friends. Right now I want them to be in my eyesight, but Lyra already loves riding her bike to the playground. Faye now has a balance bike but it will be a few months before she grasps riding.
Favorite kids bikes:
Woom 1: https://us.woombikes.com/products/1
Woom 2: https://us.woombikes.com/products/2
Playing Without Parents
When kids are old enough, they need their own space to be themselves. They need to be able to order their own lives, to run by themselves, and just be themselves. With parents constantly over their shoulder, they will never be able to learn about themselves.
When I was a kid, I lived in rural Vermont with many acres of land around me. My parents always said “There’s a large forest out back, go play.” Around 7 my friends and I would ride around Huntington, there was a playground near the gravel pit, and a convenience store a few miles away. We would ride down and get root beer, candy, or some other snack. So long as I told my parents where I was going, they were fine.
Now I live in a suburb of Boston MA, and everyone is scared of everyone else. People seem to not want kids to be playing by themselves. But I ask: “Whats the point of having a backyard if I can’t tell her to go out back and play?” She’s old enough to know to stay out back. In a few years (2, 3?) she should have no problem with the 5 minute walk down the street to the park.
Note: The street I lived in in Huntington had cars, we were smart enough to get out of the way.
Being Alone
Sometimes Lyra decides she wants to play alone. Maybe Faye is getting in her space, maybe Mama and Dada are being too belligerent, but she needs her own time. She goes into her room, or the playroom, and cleans, or plays, or reads. This is important for development, allowing her to self calm, self direct, and just be herself. Parents need to give this to kids.
Outro
Kids are near infinitely capable. The bounds that they have, are often the bounds we set upon them. Before thinking about what you’re comfortable with, what fears you have, think about what your child needs, what they can handle, and what kind of agency you want them to have. All this said, you should do what you feel is right for your kids!
experimentalprogramming 